In The News
Kim admits to banned substance use
Kim, shown here in 2005 at the height of his addiction, maintained that his mustache growth was an unexpected, yet welcome, side effect of Propecia use for his head hair.
The IMGC bans the use of Propecia and all other forms of hairoids, but Kim will not be penalized in the 2006 'stache-off because he has not tested positive for the drug. "I was using it to boost my head hair. The mustache just kind of appeared out of nowhere. I didn't ask for it to happen, but it did, and that's when I first realized that facial hair was one of the great pleasures of life." Kim then described a downward spiral into drug addiction. "I wanted to feel that way all the time...that feeling of unbridled power and absolute joy you have when you can achieve any mustache you want." Kim checked himself into the Sierra Tucson rehabilitation facility over the Thanksgiving recess. He underwent treatment for his Propecia addiction and was given a shave and a haircut, costing him an estimated two bits. Kim's disclosure came amidst a doping scandal story that broke just two fake news headlines below. Kim did not deny his connection to the convicted Tiffany Lin. "Yes, I know her. Yes, I friended her on facebook. I'm not going to deny that we do interact on a regular basis. Do you think I would meet somebody for two seconds...just long enough to catch their name...then run home right away and friend them on facebook to try to prove my self-worth with an artificially inflated number of friends? I mean, do I LOOK like a freshman to you?" Kim concluded his press conference by apologizing for his indiscretions. "I am sorry for the trouble I have caused my friends and the shame I have brought upon my family. I realize now that the real joy of facial hair comes from the purity of the sport, and the hard work put into the process of growing it. I will not make the same mistakes, nor will I do anything to jeopardize the integrity of the sport again. Plus the long hair just made me look kinda sketchy."